A journey of unbuttoned knickers and torn shirts

When driven back in those memories, there were no egos, there were no night outs, there were no tensions and there were definitely no running and waning outs behind life. But there were egos because I had fewer pencils than my best friend, there were tensions because I never knew how to explain my social studies marks to my mom and there was tiresome running because of hard hitting dodge ball. There were sweet kisses on cheeks which were not coincidental, then there were half eaten carriers and scolding moms along with brain eating dads. In my case its 6 days of grandma and grandpa along with 1 day of mom and dad. There were power cuts, blood rush jumps from buildings to buildings when spider man exists only in comic books and cartoons. There was also Chitrahar and Chitralahari along with Ramayana, chandrakantha , Mahabharata, and Disney hour with Ducktales and Talespin.

There was a time where dancing with a girl means love – a mere misnomer from famous tollywood movies, ofcourse it wasn’t tollywood too at that time. There were puppy shames whenever I used to forget zipping my knickers and a blush despite you are a boy. There was this Sunday bathing ritual with dad and mom running behind me to get the process started. There were summer holidays where I don’t have to worry about getting tanned or sun burnt. All I can think of was loads of cricket and badminton with pretentious acts of mischievousness. There were night outs on new years eve to beat the best rangoli in the street and saving the pocket money to buy cosco balls for weekend cricket. There were broken glass windows, woken maniacs (all elders in street) and preaching neighbors. The best screwed up punch line was “Please study Tanuj. You have plenty of time to play.” Oh please who can get me back my childhood. I will pour in all my savings along with my shares I bought. Please get me back my childhood and same feeling where two rupees was a treasure. Despite consistent outburst of worsening marks, even the worst injuries along with empty homework books used to make my day. I was proud to be called an adamant kid but I never looked back and regret. I broke the flower pots in school, destroyed the garden and even fought with my friends and tore their shirts. But never a dull moment or a moment of hypocrisy. I can still feel the same, but with an added tension of growing old.

There was an old telugu song in which ANR sings to a crying baby which gist to why do you wanna grow up so soon. The life beyond this sucks. Yes practically it sucks. But at the same time the enjoyment is taken care at every step. So everyone’s life was a summer of 69. It goes like “But when I look back now, summer seems to last forever and if I had the choice, Yeah I always wanna be there. Those were the best days of my life.”

C'est la vie Murphy!!!

Murphy’s Law says “If anything can go wrong, it will definitely go wrong”. It seems so discouraging for asking oneself to give up on fight when it’s not actually started. Seems too preemptive isn’t it? When you actually know the circumstances and give it an open heart it doesn’t matter. But showing a white flag before the battle starts is pathetic. Even if it is, amidst ruins. We all hear about great battles won on the split second decisions and courageous face offs. What if the battle is lost in mind beforehand? I have a small story to share

“ Decades ago a Chinese army going for a battle stops in front of a temple and started praying to god for their win despite the reality says the chances are less. The major of the battalion talked to the soldiers about destiny’s role in win–loss situations and how we cannot overcome it. He asked soldiers whether taking the chances straightaway is worth it or not. None of them could answer. So he decided to flip a coin in front of god to take the matter of fact whether it’s destined for them to win, or lose the battle. He called heads for win and tails for loss. Strangely it turned out to be heads. The army with an overarching enthusiasm and confidence fought as if they are ordered by almighty itself and against all the odds won the battle.”

The story talks about odds, risk and doing what is invincible against all of them. The twist in the tale is that the coin tossed by major is a two headed one. Moral is simple. Win the battle in mind and heart before entering into the ground. Life is more of cross roads and taking decisions in the periods of utmost uncertainty. In my first ever post, I have tried explaining a process based approach in taking decisions. Now when I see it down the line, it’s YUCK. My current bottom line - Take the decisions that drive the hell out of ya and back them up with logic. Vince Lombardi quoted “man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle.” I have just clipped the last word of the quote Victorious coz it makes no sense. Win or lose when exhausted and lying down on the ground fighting the battle gives a sound of HELL YA, rather than giving up taking the odds into consideration. And as the myth says the heaven is always reserved for the people who fought and died in the battle, but not the ones who watch it as a mere spectacle. I found a battle today which is calling for an unwanted humiliation as a reward for loss. I was blank, destructed and petrified by the way it turned up. But a warm heart asked me for a restoration of pride and for a kick ass journey. And here I am to defy Murphy’s Law, if it has actually decided for some worst odd!!!