Disaster! Destruction! Roland Emmerich!

What's in the destruction of colossal structures that is awe-inspiring (awe is probably the wrong word here, but still...), leaving people agape looking at behemoths bite the dust? The sight of massive constructions, like the ones on the famous Strip in Las Vegas, razed down to the ground by controlled demolition experts setting off sequential explosive charges, and being watched on by hordes of cheering onlookers, makes a good case study for the psychoanalysts.2012...I suppose this movie could provide some amusement as an accompaniment to a slow evening where a drinking game is involved. Beyond that, the only thing this movie gives me cause to fear is the very real possibility of death by boredom.As long as world destruction is all just pure popcorn fun, here are top 10 ways of surviving in a Roland Emmerich's disaster movie

10. The lightning rule - never stand too close, or in fact, never stay in the vicinity of tall structures. Aliens, Godzillas and even natural disasters, like terrorists, have serious identity crises. They cry for attention attacking tall buildings, in the delusion/hope of making a serious statement. So, avoid tall structures, for the safety and the well-being of the character

9. The obscurity rule - never live in famous cities that has many landmarks. Chances of survival in obscure cities, like Wichita, Kansas, Rampachodavaram, Andhra Pradesh, India, are much more in an Emmerich movie, compared to a New York, LA, Tokyo (in exactly that order) etc.

8. The hyphenate rule - Be a somebody, who can do a lot many things, like writer-driver-computer technician-swimmer-part time pilot etc, as these skills would certainly come in handy in diverse difficult situations that the script..er..computer throw along the way. A one trick pony is destined to die.

7. The divorce/separated rule - Never be a third wheel in a 'blow hot - blow cold' relationship. That would greatly diminish the chances of the survival. Remaining in a divorce/separated situation is an ideal case that would keep the couple alive in question alive till the end of the movie, for the 'awwww.....' inducing heart-warming kiss and hug makeup in the climax.

6. The age factor - Hollywood, as a general principle, never kills off kids in disaster movies, as that would seriously hurt the box-office demographics. And for the rest of the folk, age acts like a half life, with exponential deterioration. The older a character is, the quicker he is going to die.

5. The pet factor - Animals are treated much more humanely than humans, as PETA watches Hollywood with a hawk-eye. So better off being a quadra-ped than a bi-ped.

4. The affirmative action exception - Exceptional minority candidates always make it till the end of the movie. Mediocre majority candidates MAY make it, but it is a given that mediocre minorities become the first casualties of invading aliens, stomping Godzillas or oncoming deluges.

3. The Blonde Identity - Blondes may have all the fun in real life, but not so in disaster movies, and the peril factor proportionally increases with their beauty. So the choice is quite clear, to dye or die!

2. The Uncle Sam rule - the benefits are great, they say, working for the Fedeal government, and that includes, quick quarantines, immediate evacuation in Air Force One/ Marine One / or any other motor vehicle bearing the suffix 'One', and round the clock military protection. So what if the take home pay is a little low!

1. The top billing rule - the one that trumps all the above. Receive top billing for the movie, and the character gets to see the end credits.

There is a definite 'David' trait (of David-Goliath fame) in every human being that rejoices when the mighty (men or structures) are brought down to their knees; their constant sense of insecurity, particularly in the face of the unbeatable/insurmountable, that gets soothed watching the mighty humbled. There could be no other logical reasons than the above for people 'enjoying' destructions, which reminds of the famous dialogue from the yester-years classic, 'Mayabazar' - "peLLi chaeyamanTae chaeta kaadu gaani...paaDu chaeyamanTaenaa....".